A friend of mine shared this with me. Its a true story. It was very deep I thought I should share, with his permission of course.
So I asked him what I should title it and he replied 'Letter to my unborn'. Too cliche plus who writes letters anymore? Tuko digital bwana. I called it 'Before we touched' because its a story of a man who lost a fetus, before it was born and before they got to touch, like father and kid.
"Special greetings my sweet
little baby! I know that you are
in a place of great love and
healing.
I often wonder what your
little body experienced as you were
being ripped away from mum. I can
imagine that you were trying to
cling to me with all your might. I
know you were because the doctor
was experiencing difficulties tearing
you away. I'm sorry for the pain
that caused you and that mum
allowed.
Your body to be discarded in such
a dishonorable way. Sorry that she
denied you life or even a funeral.
And that your coffin was a glass jar
and then later, who knows what,
perhaps a garbage can. I wonder
what they did to your remains; I
hope they didn't dishonor you too
horribly bad.
I'm sorry that I didn't fight for you
baby. But I couldn't fight for
myself. I just thought that if none
of the people who were supposed
to love and protect you were going
to – then why should I love and
protect myself. I should have
protected you baby
I'm sorry that she
denied you the privilege of seeing
my face and gazing into my eyes,
and that you will never get to hold
my hand or feed from her breast.
Sorry that you will never get to see
your daddy's face lovingly look at
you in awe and wonder of the
beautiful life that he created. I'm
sorry that you will never get to
explore the wonders of this earth.
I want you to know that I
desperately long to touch you and
see you. I want to hold and
protect you. I want to dress you
and comb your hair. I want to do
all the things that a daddy does.
I want to see your tiny little
hands. Do they look like mine or
do they look like Lilly's? And
what about your nose? Is it cute
and kinda pointy? Who do you act
like? Are you chatty or quiet?
What kinds of things would you
like to do? I picture you with
sweet kinda curly blonde hair and
blue eyes. I see you on fire and
ready to explore the world. And I
deeply regret not allowing myself
to watch you do it, or you to be
blessed with life.
I'm sorry that your mum
didn't want you. I'm sorry that she
couldn't love you. I'm sorry that
neither set of your grandparents
wanted you. They were just all
scared. They were all scared of
you and the responsibility that they
would have to you. I could list all
the things/reasons/excuses that
everyone had, but they don't
matter. Because I know that that
is not what you are about. For the
very name that God gave to you
baby exemplifies the very essence
of what God's unfailing love
represents. I know that you have
absolutely no condemnation for
what was done to you, and for the
life that you were denied. Nor do
you have any condemning feelings
toward your family members. I
know that you want to see
everyone healed and brought closer
to your heavenly father who you
get to experience everyday. I know
that he finished forming you from
mangled pieces and made you
perfect in every way.
@JAKAYA10