FORGET AIDS AND TB. FRIENDZONING IS THE NEW NATIONAL EPIDEMIC

Politically speaking, its sad to note that all our ladies friendzoned Peter Kenneth. Friendzoning has become a national epidemic and the government should treat is as such. I haven't as yet read the Jubilee manifesto but it is my wish that these young gentlemen, who claim to understand our plight, the youth, have a plan to tackle this quickly spreading vice.

Nice guys finish last. That is the sad reality in life when dealing with women. This past election just reaffirmed that. From the candidates, PK looked untainted. The girls adored him, adored his family. On the social media, all women were PKd. PK was fooled. This women cannot be trusted. They toyed with him and when it was time to get some, they gave it to the bad boys.

Women make the majority of voters I presume. Look where they left him. I can imagine the scenario at the voting box. "PK is such a cute guy, but I don't like him that way. I like him as a ______(insert nonsense here). I hope he understands" then they went ahead and marked their ballots for the other tainted men.

Women did the same to Kalonzo in 2007, Musalia in 2013. These are nice guys. MaDvD even promised them safe hands. Wapi! Our women love adventure, unpredictability. They want rough hands. Surely friendzoning has become more than a boy/girl situation. From these examples, it has become a political issue as well and we need political intervention as such.

I want our president to come out and declare it a National Disaster. Set up a body, "National Friendzone Council" or something. NGOs should join in this fight as well. Its high time our women understood that we are men and want to be viewed as such. Not being reduced to tools to listen to their escapades.

The body should go round and gather statistics, tell us which cities have the highest prevalence. Which ages are most friendzoned, the rate of friendzoning and the effect of friendzoning to the economy. You'll be shocked. The amount of investment men make on women who later friendzone them. The amount of emotional investment that goes to drain. The body should give complete social, political, economic and religious effects of this epidemic. 

Its high time we became frank with each other. All investment bodies do it. Women as such, ought to come clean (no pun intended). Don't pull that women are not bodies line here. Men know it is the case, investment wise. And we love this body specifically. We invest so much in it. Negative returns is a raw deal.

Let us join hands fellow countrymen, let us save mankind. If we do not take action soon, then this will be a brotherly state. Now we don't want that, do we?

©Jakaya10

Josephine Nyakerario

Today, the 10th of April marks 13 years since I lost the woman I first loved, a mother and the only parent I knew. One Miss Josephine Nyakerario Orang'o, whose middle name I had to carry with me through high school. A name which proved to be a tonguetwister to many. Miss Nyakerario was a modest woman who made a honest living for the few 9 years I was privileged to know her. A beautiful woman with an infectious smile who many claimed to say I took after. My early childhood pictures betray me. To say the list, I kinda looked like a girl when I was below 7 years haha. I always thought its because I already had two elder brothers, nature took a little longer to recognize me as a boy. Though with age, I acquired all the essentials to put my looks beyond reasonable doubt. Miss Nyakerario spoilt me as her last born of course. Eating vegetable is something I started doing past the 10th April 2000. I always had a shilling for break time snack. Yes 1/- for either those coloured ice cubes or some bhajia or samosa. Past 10th April, that 1/- went right with her. 5 shillings for a movie after school before she came back from Kibuye market where she used to sell onions. A business woman. I watched alot of action movies then plus the ndombolo music in between movies. I lived large in my own terms. Subconsciously she brought me up as a champ, a winner. I recall one morning I came from school with a report card reading position 4 in class. Boy I cried. I wailed. I had failed in my mind. I bet she felt proud of me as she took to comfort me and reassure me in her arms that I hadn't failed and would do better the best term. That was in class two I think. Well missing classes to watch Sinbad and Connan had to take a hit on someones grades, no? Losing a mother at the age of 9 was confusing. I remember I forced myself to cry because to be frank it really didn't quite hit me. I lived through thinking it was a bad dream I'd wake from. We received the news from a from my aunt early morning. I was confused, my grandmother wept. I was just there, a confused boy. For years, I imagined I'd wake up one morning and go back home with my mother but that was not to be. I grow older and accepted that indeed, this was real. Life was hard as it was. Taken to another family, not being the king I used to be took years to adopt to. My mother was a polite woman, soft spoken. People eulogized her so. She would not hurt a fly. I felt like an intruder in the new family because to be sincere, these circumstances and arrangements were unplanned for and I've really never felt home since I was last home 13 years ago. I'm not faulting anyone. To be honest I think my new 'home' tried as much to make me feel home but it just never happened. My elder brothers lived separately, devastated with the turn of events took to substances (explains the weed part), one dropped out of school(explains why I strive for excellence). Events that really changed the life of a young man. When you lose a mother at 9 and don't really have someone to take you through it, your world crushes. You are left with a few things to live for. On my own account, my childhood could have been better but well, here I am. When I qualified to go join Starehe, I imagined what she'd have felt like. When I aced my secondary exams, I couldn't help but wonder how proud she would have been. My wits and all come from her. I don't mean to brag but my family of 4, mother and 2 brothers are a brilliant unit. So today I'll celebrate the life of the woman I first loved. I live my life to ensure wherever you are, you keep that beautiful smile. You are missed beyond measure. 10/04/13 © Jakaya10